My Ten Favorite Books of 2010

December was a dark abyss, my friends. A dark abyss of Christmas carols, room cleaning and general laziness. Hence my harsh abandonment. But I have returned and what better way to resurrect this self-indulgent soundboard than with...a LIST!!!Yes. A List of my ten favorite books of 2010. Books I loved and gushed about to friends and strangers alike. Everybody neat and pretty? Then on with the show!


10. Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George

A classic fairy tale. A hero who knits. And the loveliest description of black sand I have ever read. All around wonderful. Also rescued me from one hell of a reading rut. THREE months of so-so books and then this. Magic.

9. The Diaries of Adam and Eve by Mark Twain

Twain presents the parents of mankind as a pair of (seemingly) mismatched kids who have no choice but to face the fledgling world together. One of those books that wins your heart with humor and then tears it shreds. Funniest part: Adam trying to explain to Eve why they can’t domesticate a dinosaur.

8. Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce

Take Little Red Riding Hood. Now craft her into TWO teenage heroines who know how to fight. Now take the Big Bad Wolf and turn him into a species of scary, sex criminalish man-wolves. See who makes it out alive.

7. The Ivy Tree by Mary Stewart

The Parent Trap in Northumberland. Only with murder, ballads and a hot Irish sociopath. Am I over-simplifying? Hells yes. But don’t tell me you aren’t intrigued.

6. The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins (I’m counting them as one!)

Kids fighting to the death on live TV. Is it any mystery why this series is so popular? These books are brutal, bleak and unbelievably addictive. And of course, there's an impossibly perfect love interest.

5. The Collector by John Fowles

A butterfly collector kidnaps the young woman he’s stalked for years and keeps her locked in his basement as his “guest.” He wants her to fall in love with him. She keeps a diary. They talk about The Catcher in the Rye. What starts as a provocative character study subtly evolves into a meditation on life, God and humanity.

4. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner

A love letter to stream-of-consciousness and the scent of honeysuckle. Three brothers, each with his own issues (mental disability; sexual neurosis; all-around awfulness), narrate the story of their sister Caddy's “moral downfall.” I had to read a good amount aloud just to figure out what was going on, but I had the time of my life. It's all a metaphor for the post-Civil War South, but the unsung tragedy is that Caddy Compson never gets to speak for herself. Her brothers have to tell her story for her, and as fascinating as they are, it speaks to how women have been and continue to be silenced for their transgressions. Intellectually and emotionally satisfying, this is one classic that deserves the title.

3. Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis

Powerful. A book that reduced me to tears not only because it’s sad, but because it’s so beautifully written. The Greek myth of Cupid and Psyche retold by Orual, the archetypal “ugly stepsister.” One of the best and most meaningful books I’ve ever read.

2. We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

Is it wrong that I want to have dinner with a family decimated by poison? Maybe, but Jackson is just that good at what she does here. Our narrator, Merricat has an ucannily eerie voice that somehow manages to be familiar and oddly welcoming. Provided you’re not her cousin Charles, that is. Post scriptum? Best title ever.

1. The Good Thief by Hannah Tinti

I love this book for many reasons.

A. It's a wonderful book. A great adventure yarn about storytelling (and grave robbery!) that evokes Robert Louis Stevenson and Charles Dickens, but does it in 19th century America. Great characters, excellent writing, and a story that is both fun and very moving. (Whaling gets a shout out too!) In short, just an all around pleasurable reading experience.

B. I read it in Disneyland, my favorite place on Earth (and the Happiest, as you may have heard).

C. It is the luckiest book in the world. After I finished it, I looked up the author and discovered she co-founded a magazine called One Story that just happened to be sponsoring a summer Writing Workshop. I applied and got in and it was a great experience. It also led to a writing fever that got me to finally finish my story, "Slut." The story that eventually got published. So yeah. The Good Thief is the luckiest book in the world. And a great, great read.

Halloween Potpourri: BOOKS!!!

It's that time of year again--the only time of year (unfortunately) when it's acceptable to dress up like a gross imitation of something you are not and demand candy of your neighbors. Halloween was always my favorite holiday growing up, and I still look forward to it like a little kid even though I'm told I'm now "too old" to go trick-or-treating. Whatever, neighbors. If you don't want to see my awesome costume, it's your loss--not that I'm bitter or regressing or anything. So if you are like me, too old to party like you're eight years old, but still in love with the all the frightening fun of the holiday, then this list is for you. It's a collection of spine-tingling books and short stories to get you in the mood.

1. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving (1820) - "The dominant spirit, however, that haunts this enchanted region, and seems to be commander-in-chief of all the powers of the air, is the apparition of a figure on horseback without a head."

This classic tale of superstition gone awry in the Hudson River Valley circa 1790 haunted my entire childhood. Few characters have scared me as much as the Headless Horseman did--not helped in the least by the fact that Sleepy Hollow is a real place. I not only believed in him, I thought he would take time out of his busy schedule to come to New Jersey, hunt me down, and steal my head. This made it all the easier for me to relate to Ichabod Crane, Irving's dubious hero whose masochistic love for ghost stories helps bring about his downfall. Told with wit and vivid imagery, an adult reading of the legend reveals it to be more of an indictment of superstition than an actual ghost story. When Ichabod decides he wants to marry Katrina van Tassel, the local It girl, he incurs the wrath of her brutish suitor Brom Bones--who let's just say probably uses antlers in all of his decorating. Ichabod wears his fear on his sleeve, giving Brom just what he needs to get rid of him. Is the Headless Horseman real? Is the figure Ichabod encounters in the woods man or monster? Irving leaves it up to us to decide, but he definitely has an answer in mind.



2. Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury (1962) - "First of all, it was October, a rare month for boys."

"Be careful what you wish for" has rarely been conveyed as beautifully as in this beloved Ray Bradbury novel. Cooger and Dark's Pandemonium Shadow Show is a demonic traveling carnival that ensnares its victims by promising to grant their deepest desires. Only two boys, best friends Will Halloway and Jim Nightshade, suspect something rotten beneath the surface and they set about trying to conquer the evil--before they fall prey to its temptations. The villain Mr. Dark is a scary customer indeed, and the book poses serious, thought-provoking questions about regret, longing, and why we want what we want. Lyrical and genuinely frightening, Something Wicked This Way Comes is a must for Halloween. It even starts on October 24--TODAY! Take that as a sign.


3. We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson (1962) - "My name is Mary Katherine Blackwood. I am eighteen years old, and I live with my sister Constance...Everyone else in my family is dead."

I finished this literally last night and I am absolutely in love with it. To my shame, I had never read any of Shirley Jackson's novels before this, but now I want to read everything she wrote. Constance and Mary Katherine (Merricat) Blackwood have been outcasts in their small village ever since a sprinkling of arsenic in the sugar bowl killed everybody in their family except the girls and their Uncle Julian. Constance who was accused and acquitted of the murders now leads a mostly agoraphobic existence, while the childlike Merricat wanders the woods with her cat Jonas, dreaming of living on the moon. When their long-lost cousin Charles drops in for a visit and starts filling Constance's head with strange ideas, Merricat knows she must do all she can to protect her sister. I devoured this book in one afternoon. The characters are some of the most wonderful I've ever met and their world is deliciously creepy and quietly disturbing. Shirley Jackson stirred my envy with her subtle clarity and pitch black sense of humor. She is an astonishing writer. I highly recommend spending a few hours with the Blackwood family. I know I won't forget my visit any time soon.

4. The Sandman by E.T.A. Hoffmann (1816) - "Nothing pleased me more than to hear or read tales about spirits, about witches, about dwarfs; but over everything there hovered the Sandman, whom I used to draw with chalk or charcoal on the tables, in the strangest and most horrible shapes."

Fear makes children of all of us, no matter how grown-up and mature we consider ourselves to be. This idea lives at the center of E.T.A. Hoffmann's chilling short story about how childhood fears continue to affect us long after we leave childhood behind. Growing up, Nathaniel had been told stories of the Sandman, a monster who steals the eyes of children who don't go to bed when they're told. Meanwhile, a real monster was loose in his home: his father's business partner who took sadistic delight in frightening Nathaniel. Young Nathaniel came to think of this man as the Sandman, merging fantasy with reality. Years later, as a university student, a chance encounter with a stranger who resembles his "Sandman," resurrects all sorts of disturbing memories, sending Nathaniel down a dark path where the line between fantasy and reality ceases to exist. The German Romantics were all about exploring the uncanny, and few did it better than Hoffmann (who also penned the story that became The Nutcracker Ballet). He tells the story partly through letters and partly from the perspective of an unnamed first person narrator who is not one of the main characters--implying that it may be Hoffmann himself and blurring the line even further. The Sandman does a number on your mind and imagination. By the end, you're not sure what was real, what Nathaniel imagined, and what you imagined. It's a disturbing, fascinating story that reveals new layers with each reading.

5. The Witches by Roald Dahl (1983) - "In fairy tales, witches always wear silly black hats and black cloaks, and they ride on broomsticks. But this is not a fairy tale. This is about REAL WITCHES."

Think you know how to spot a witch--a REAL witch? Well, here's the perfect guide. My love for the work of Roald Dahl has been a topic of discussion here before, and this is one of my favorites. Dahl takes a page out of Hoffmann's book by blurring the line between fact and fantasy. He drew on elements from his own childhood to create his young (also unnamed) narrator and his cigar-chomping, witch-wary Norwegian grandmamma. For all I knew, the scene where a witch, snake-in-hand, approaches Our Hero in his treehouse could have been based on Dahl's own experiences! This gives you a good impression of where my mind was as a kid. The story is fantastic, Our Hero is a true hero, and as always, Dahl's sly, slightly sadistic sense of humor shines through. Quentin Blake's illustrations capture the childlike wildness of the book. My favorite line: "For all you know, a witch might be living next door to you right now...she might even--and this will make you jump--she might even be your lovely schoolteacher who is reading these words to you at this very moment." You can almost hear Dahl muahaha-ing in the background.



6. Sharp Objects (2006) and/or Dark Places (2010) by Gillian Flynn -

"My sweater was new, stinging red and ugly." -Sharp Objects

"I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ." -Dark Places

Gillian Flynn is one of my favorite authors writing today. She has two novels out now and both of them are excellent, so much so I was up well past my already obscenely late bedtime reading them. And then I was too scared to go to sleep. They are brutal, unforgiving books that grab you by the throat and force you to follow them. Not that you'll put up much resistance, I guarantee. Sharp Objects concerns Camille Preaker, a journalist who is forced to confront the demons of her childhood when she returns to her Missouri hometown to cover the murder of a pair of local girls. Dark Places is about Libby Day, who at seven years old delivered the testimony that put her 15-year-old brother Ben away for the murders of their mother and two sisters. Years later, as a bitter, depressed adult, she gets a call from an organization called the Kill Club that claims they can prove why Ben is innocent. Neither book is easy to read content-wise, but Flynn has such a strong voice (the kind you can hear in your head) and creates such vivid, true-to-life characters, it's impossible to look away. Not for the faint of heart (or stomach), these books are perfect for a chilly fall evening. But beware--you might be afraid of your own shadow by the time you're done.

7. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James (1898) - "If the child gives the effect another turn of the screw, what do you say to two children?"

I devoted an entire entry to this novella last year around this time so I won't delve too deep, but since I reread it every Halloween, I couldn't exclude it in good conscience. A naive young woman gets a job caring for two children, a boy and a girl, in an isolated manor belonging to their handsome uncle. After strange things start happening around the house, she begins to suspect that the ghosts of two former servants have possessed the children. Are the ghosts real or the crazy result of a paranoid, sexually repressed mind? And just who is the object of the governess's affections in this so-called "love story"? The Turn of the Screw has been analyzed and debated for decades and there are no answers except the ones you come up with. Disturbing, frightening, and utterly absorbing, this is the ultimate ghost story...or is it?

8. Struwwelpeter by Heinrich Hoffmann (1845) "Anything to me is sweeter / than to see Struwwelpeter!"

The subtitle for Struwwelpeter (which is usually translated as Slovenly Peter or Shock-headed Peter) claims it's a book of "Happy Tales and Funny Pictures." Nothing could be further from the truth. This is a horrifying book. Written by the author as a CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR HIS SON, it's a book of cautionary tales, explaining (in rhyme no less) what happens to children who misbehave. For example: ignore proper hygiene and you will become an ugly, downright frightening looking outcast deserving of your isolation and destined to one day be on the cover of a horrifying children's book. Also: Playing with matches is dangerous. If you play with matches, you will set yourself on fire and die and your cats will weep for you. Think of your cats, children! And best of all: Do not suck your thumb. If you suck your thumb, the Long, Red-Legged Scissorman will BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE and CUT OFF YOUR THUMBS!!! Yup. I have had nightmares about the Long, Red-Legged Scissorman and I never sucked my thumb. And I was in college when I discovered this book. So there you go. It's awful, but I would lying if I said I didn't LOVE Struwwelpeter in all its morbid glory. Apparently, every German child knows these poems by heart (as my German professor demonstrated for me--they're even scarier in German). It was featured on an episode of The Office, courtesy of Dwight, of course. There's even a Struwwelpeter museum in Frankfurt which is AWESOME. I had the good fortune to be there alongside a class trip of six-year-olds who were adorable and not at all put off by all the pictures of bleeding and dying children adorning the walls. Good stuff.


And just for fun...

Ouch.



Whew. And that, my dears, is all. If one of these books sends the proverbial chill down your spine, I have done my job. Happy Reading!

Dirty Sluts in Wolfskin Coats: A Look at Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes

"I guess you think you know this story. /You don't. The real one's much more gory. /The phoney one, the one you know, / Was cooked up years and years ago, /And made to sound all soft and sappy/ just to keep the children happy." -Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, Cinderella

Simply put, this is one of my favorite books of all time, and undoubtedly, one of the most important I've ever read. I sometimes wonder what direction my life might have gone in had I not discovered it in the third grade. For it was this slim little volume that first introduced me to a beloved literary art form that became the cornerstone of my writing: the twisted fairy tale. Maybe without Revolting Rhymes, I would still have encountered Angela Carter, Maria Tatar, and the beauty of folkloric scholarship, but then again, who knows? With these six short rhymes, Dahl showed me a whole new world. In this world, the bedtime stories of my childhood could be transformed. They could have hidden meanings. They could be funny and frightening in a way I had never known. They could have life and breathe beyond themselves. And if fairy tales could, then all stories could! Hell, this book could be the reason I chose not just to love literature but to study it.

What's more, it's the book that began my love affair with the one and only Roald Dahl (not Ronald Dahl as I called him for much too long), author of wonderful works of fantasy, surrealism, and some of the scariest shit ever published. This is the man responsible for Willy Wonka, Miss Trunchbull, the Chokey, the Grand High Witch, the Landlady, Aunt Sponge, Aunt Spiker, the most treacherous carpet in the world, and those damn Oompa Loompas. All that out of one brain. Jesus Christ. But Revolting Rhymes is the book that, for me, started it all.

Last but not least, it's the book that taught me the word slut, though it took me a few years and Presidential scandals to learn the exact meaning. For that brief glimpse into the adult world, I've always held it close to my heart.

The setup is very simple. Dahl takes six well-known, beloved stories--Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Little Red Riding Hood, and The Three Little Pigs--and turns them all inside out. In rhyme. Basic and yet brilliant. "Faithfulness" is not an issue here. I always get slightly miffed when people complain about how a certain adaptation isn't faithful to the "original" fairy tale. When a story spends centuries being shaped and and twisted by generations of storytellers in the oral tradition (as all six of these stories were) before being printed in a book, there is no "original" version. There's the version you know best and/or the one you feel most defensive about.

Some of Dahl's poems differ wildly from the source material while others stay pretty close. He turns Snow White into the head of a gambling ring who uses her infamous good looks to get free rides and never ecounters an apple or a prince, though her story does include some of the more Sweeney Toddish elements of the Brothers Grimm version. Jack of beanstalk climbing fame is actually a halfway decent person whose mother is more of a monster than the giant. Dahl's Little Red Riding Hood is a joyous return to versions of old where the titular heroine was more than capable of outsmarting and escaping the Wolf, without the need for a Huntsman savior or a moralizing death (or both in the case of the Grimms' version). The Three Little Pigs makes a great Little Red sequel/crossover and features fantastic descriptions of how the Wolf eats the pigs. Goldilocks is a straight retelling with mostly everything the same except for the fact that the narrator clearly hates Goldie's guts and is much more honest about her antics than your average telling of the tale. I was never a huge fan of Goldilocks (the character) so this is without a doubt my favorite version of her story. Especially the last line.

Oh, and Cinderella's prince calls her a slut. Specifically, a dirty slut. Don't worry, it ends well.

Throughout, there are delightful references to cannibalism, executions, dog shit, illegal activity, obscene language, bowel movements (another happy phrase the book taught me), alcohol, underwear, and the ever reliable deus ex machina. There's even a sly sex joke quipped by Snow White's father during his search for a second wife that I didn't get until very recently. Of course, Roald Dahl makes it all funny as only he can. The illustations by Quentin Blake (who illustrated many of Dahl's books) are, like the poems, both childlike and grotesque. In Blake's pictures, Goldilocks looks like a small troll, one of Cinderella's stepsisters appears to have some kind of flesh-eating disease, Little Red's eyes never lose their knowing grin, and Snow White, inexplicably, is blond. It should be noted that this is not the only time an illustrator has made Snow White blond, but Blake is the only one who can get away with it, at least in my mind.

Fairy tales have fascinated me for as long as I can remember. They reflect something primal in the human spirit: the need to tell and hear stories. They helped shape the cultures that created them, their archetypal characters speak to the subconcious and their mix of magic and terror stirs the child in all of us. When I first heard the Revolting Rhymes, it was like Dahl had taken my hand and let me in on a wonderful secret: fairy tales are for adults too. It's a secret I stamped on my heart and have been spreading joyfully ever since.